yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
