i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
