Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I have post one night stand depression
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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