do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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