One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
