i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
