More tranny stories later!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
