Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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