my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
