i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
