Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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