You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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