glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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