He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so let's talk penis.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
