Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She told me I should be a condom model.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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