all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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