the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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