I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
