We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize