my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize