sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
