forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize