if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
