Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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