I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
