meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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