how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
