YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize