Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize