she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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