she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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