I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
