so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
