you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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