just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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