Fuck appropriateness.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
