Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
