youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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