i think i have herpe
just one?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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