I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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