I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
