I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
