You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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