so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
