I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize