i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
