HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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