just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
