what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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