I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
