i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
