Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
