Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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