Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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