i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
