i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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